TRUST

It's no accident that I put the title word in bold letters.  TRUST

Many of Tyler's successes and setbacks are dependent upon this very word and concept. Trust is probably, for him, the foundation for which all other things are built.

In thinking about how we as "typical" people interact in our world, trust is very important to us.  We have to feel that we can trust those we need to rely on.  We wouldn't go to a doctor if we thought he/she did not have our best interest at heart.  We wouldn't allow our children in a classroom if we didn't trust the teacher.  If we thought our friends would gossip our conversations, they wouldn't be our friends for very long.  We establish if we can trust the people that we encounter, and then we move on from there.  If we feel that the trust level is compromised for any reason, we simply adjust by limiting our involvement, or amount of risk we are willing to put forth.

Tyler has a much more black-and-white requirement for trust.  He doesn't have the ability, as we do, to use his skills to compensate when the need arises.  I believe he senses his own vulnerability.  In order to protect himself, he has to decide quickly whether he can trust someone or not.  When he feels he can trust someone, the sky is the limit.  When he feels he cannot trust someone, it will be very, very difficult to overcome that, and he will likely keep that person out of his space completely.  Its purely a defense mechanism, no more, no less.  

When Tyler encounters someone, you can see him desperately working to pick up on all kinds of queues.  He will watch the expressions on their face, their volume, tone, body language, and demeanor.  He will sense if what he sees is sincere and genuine and he will either see a green light or a red light.  

If you are involved with the care of a special needs person in any way, this is a great thing to keep in mind.  ESTABLISH TRUST.  Show that person that you will earn their trust through sincerity and compassion.  Remember that the more open you allow your emotions to be with them, the easier it will be from them to pick up on the positive queues.  And if you can establish a trust level, you will notice a huge difference in how they will respond to you.

Don't forget that trust is a critical part of our everyday life, and for our special needs friends and family, its no different.  In fact, its everything.

Be well and God bless.   Tom