The Curse of Father Time Part One

There is a saying in sports that goes something like....the only one that ever goes undefeated is Father Time.  To those with special needs, and the people who care for them, time can be a cruel enemy. 

We had Tyler when I was in my very early 20's.  At that point in your life you believe that you still have about a hundred years to live.  I was reasonably active, fit, healthy, and strong.  I believed that those things would continue to be on my side for as long as I willed it to be so! For quite a while that seemed to work.  But generally being in your 20's and 30's will do that for you.  Then came 40....

I'm not sure exactly what happens when you turn 40, but the body knows when you reach that day.  And if you were being lax about taking care of yourself up until that point, the body REALLY rebels.   

"Remember how you missed those dentist appointments??  How about a ROOT CANAL!"

"You know how you eat to ease your stress??  How about 30 extra pounds!!"

"So you think you can pretend everything is ok??  I call this the PANIC ATTACK!!"

The other undeniable truth is, under most circumstances, your special needs child is likely to outlive you.  Even sooner than that...your special needs child is likely to live beyond your physical capabilities.  We HAVE to face that.  It is an ugly and brutal truth that we have no choice but to acknowledge.  We cannot simply pretend that it is a problem for tomorrow and not for today.

I think about my friend Sue who has a young boy much like Tyler.  I'm sure she and her husband also had the same feelings of wanting to ignore time....until he passed away after a brief illness.  She was then faced with the brutal choices that time forced her to make before she was ready.  You see...time has no respect for our situations.

Do not plan around what will happen when you turn 80 and your child turns 55.  Plan around what will happen when you turn 50 and your child 25.  

TIME WILL NOT IGNORE US...SO WE CANNOT MAKE THE MISTAKE OF IGNORING IT

A few other points I will hit in this series will be:

• How time effects Tyler
• How time effected our decision for residential care for us as caregivers 

Be well and God bless.    Tom