Friday, September 1, 2017

I'm Baaaack

Good Evening,

Over the last few weeks, life has really taken a turn.  While it really has little to do with Tyler, I think its worth discussing nonetheless.  After all, as caregivers we often experience things that are outside of the scope of caregiving.  In other words, life around us will still change regardless of our struggles.  We certainly don't get a free pass from the ups and downs of typical life because our lives are not typical. 

At the very end of April I returned from vacation to find out my company wanted me to relocate to South Carolina.  My choice was to relocate or be replaced.  After nearly 13 years I was faced with perhaps my most difficult career decision ever.  On one hand I was looking at suddenly needing to find another job with comparable pay, and on the other hand making a secure employment decision but moving hundreds of miles away from Tyler, our family, friends, church, and everything else we had built over the last 6 years.  Both prospects were terrifying.  There seemed like there could not be a correct answer.

Something that my wife said made all the difference.  She told me that if we refused to relocate she would stand by me and do whatever it took to make things work.  It confirmed for me what I already felt, we enjoyed what we had built here and we needed to fight for it.  Suddenly I felt at ease.  I felt prepared that no matter what, I was making the right decision. Because we were doing what we felt was best for the family as a whole, we suddenly stopped feeling the pressure and started to let it play out.  It reminded me of JFK's quote "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself". 

Once the anxiety disappeared and we came to terms with our decision, things came into focus.  I had reached the limit with my previous company.  In many respects I had outgrown them, and they had outgrown me.  There was no blame to be assigned, it was just time to part ways. 

I was able to find a position offering very comparable pay and benefits.  After my first two weeks I am finding that they are exactly what I have needed for a while, a new opportunity in a friendly and supportive surrounding.  In other far so good.

My takeaway is that as caregivers we always want to go with the high percentage play.  In other words, we don't want to assume unnecessary risk.  We find ourselves altering every decision to fit the safest scenario.  I can honestly say I'm as guilty as everyone else.  But we cannot be afraid to look at every angle and do what's right instead of what's safe.  We owe it to ourselves to take a chance on the low percentage play and follow it through. 

So to my caregiving followers, I challenge you!  I challenge you to trust your gut just a little bit more.  Give yourself enough credit to understand that you have become stronger than you realize and you will make it no matter what.  Try to be about what is right, not what is easiest!

Be well and God bless.     Tom