A Letter To Tyler

Dear Tyler,

It's been a while since I talked with you at length.  I miss our talks.  I especially miss our walks in the park.  I miss seeing the simple things through your eyes, like the blue sky, birds, and clouds.  You only see the natural beauty in things like that, which I think is a tremendous gift.  So often I am engrossed in my thoughts about worldly things and I miss those simple gifts.  You have never had that problem, you see the picture that is painted in front of you.  No matter how clear and beautiful my walk will ever be, they will not bring me the joy I had spending them with you.

It's been so amazing to see you this happy and healthy.  The smile we see on your face when you enter the church tells me all I need to know.  You feel like you are safe and accepted in the life you are leading.  And I believe you feel the respect that your staff has for you as a person.  You have wonderful people at home, your day program, and church that love you and protect you.  I believe you feel it by the way you respond.

I'm not certain what you think of everything that has happened over the last 18 months.  At this point I'm guessing to you it doesn't much matter.  What you know is that you feel safe, secure, and surrounded by people looking out for you.  

Your sister misses you, and she is so glad to see you each Sunday.  Robin lights up when she knows you are in the room.  When you played with her hair last week it was like you gave her a wonderful gift.  She longed for you to show her that you missed her too.  And of course, I miss you.  You are more than a son, you are like a brother and a best friend.  We are doing ok, and have learned to live in a much different way.  But no matter what we do there will always be a hole that will never be filled again.

Most of all, we are happy you are safe and doing well.  We are willing to assume any role you need us to.  If you are satisfied with seeing us at church and having a dinner out occasionally, that is what we will do.  We will never abandon you.  We are never far from you.  We carry the love of every one of your family and friends along with us.  You may or may not know it, but we are a blanket around you at all times.  Beside all that, we just love you.  And that love is as solid as granite, and as big as this universe.  

We all love you very much and are so proud of you.  For me, you are the best son I could have ever had.

Love always.  Dad