What We Remember

I recently read about the death of an old friend of mine named Wayne from my bowling days.  Wayne was significantly older than me, but our personalities seemed quite compatible.  I even remember attending an Orioles game with him a long time ago.  What I remember most about Wayne was that he was just easy for me to get along with.  He always seemed to be in a good humor, always complimentary of his teammates and opponents alike.  I'm certain that he was many things to many people and had many facets to his life, but the one thing that stands out for me is how he treated the people around him.

Months ago I had written a post about an even closer friend that I had lost named Ronnie. Ronnie and I bowled together for so many years, went to baseball games, and NASCAR events.  While I remember those experiences very fondly, it isn't the first thing that comes to mind about our friendship.  What I remember first is how he laughed so easily at things.  I also remember how we could have serious conversations just as fast as we could have silly ones.  I remember how he loved to hear Tyler imitate professional wrestlers and he would laugh his hearty laugh.  After all these years I can still see that like Ronnie was standing here now.

One of the people closest to me as I grew up was my "Pop", who was my Mother's Dad. Pop was a man who's body was older than his years.  By the time I was old enough to begin to understand the world he was already limited by his health.  What Pop and I did do a lot of was walking.  This seems ironic now since this was what Tyler and I did together for so many years as well.  In the grand scheme of things I wasn't around for the majority of his life.  But what I remember is how he spent so much time with me.  He took the time to teach me things, and talk to me about things.

There is an extremely valuable truth in these memories.  The most important legacy we leave is how we treat other people.  Think about anyone that you have lost or have been separated from and ask yourself what the very first thing is you remember.  It will most likely be a laugh, a smile, or the feeling you had when you were with them.  It won't be how much money they had, or trophies they won, or the car they drove.

When we leave this earth, our money (if we had any) will be spent elsewhere.  Our house will likely be sold, our car will eventually break down, and our trophies will turn to rust.  But what will remain is the memories that people hold of us.  We will be remembered for how we loved those around us.  We will be remembered for how important we made those around us feel.  Did we make people smile?  Did we make people around us feel safe and important?  What will someone's first memory of us be?

We all must think very seriously about the memory we will leave behind.  Tomorrow is never a guarantee, so TODAY is the day.  Put your energy in the simple things.  Give away all of the things that are so valuable and yet free; your time, your attention, and your heart. When everything else fades away, those are the very things that will live on.

Be well and God bless.  Tom