Good Company

Most everyone has experienced it in their lives...you encounter someone with a disability or abnormality and you find yourself feeling uncomfortable.  You have no intent to be rude or disrespectful but you simply freeze up.  As humans we are imperfect creatures even when we have good intentions.

My coworker, I will call him "Doobie" is someone I look forward to visiting with.  He is an extremely smart guy who knows a lot about our business.  He has a sharp-tongued wit that's as quick as a whip.  But another thing I really like about Doobie is his unflinching honesty about his spinal cord injury.  He holds his head high every day and treats his disability as a fact of his life that does not define who he is.  And he is so right....it is not who he is.  Spend two minutes with him and his attitude is all you see, everything else fades to the background.

For dinner tonight I went to the home of an old friend and his wife and children.  Being with all of them is a blessing while on the road.  His children are beautiful and his wife is a treat to sit and talk to.  She loves to look at family pictures, talk about the latest events, and exchange stories.  One other reason I respect her tremendously is she doesn't let being deaf ruin a fun conversation.  She is a devoted wife and mother and a terrific friend to hang out with.  I could only hope to someday have her strength and courage.

After dinner on the way back to the hotel I thought of my friends, and I thought of Tyler.  Tyler loves people who like him for who he is.  He wants nothing more or less than the same respect and courtesy afforded to any person.  He doesn't want people to shy away, or to pity him.  He wants people to laugh with him, talk to him, and engage him.

My life would be significantly less rich without Doobie, and Bethany, and Tyler.  They have so much joy to offer and there is so much I continue to learn from them.  They are unique in a world where unique is in short supply.  All they ask in return is to be afforded the same personal engagement as everyone else.

If you ever feel that uncomfortable feeling again, smile, look that person right in the eye, and ask them how their day is going.  The conversation will carve its own path and before you know it everything else will fade away.  Don't be afraid you will accidentally say something wrong, or look at the wrong thing, or not understand on the first try.  These fears are designed to keep good people away from each other.  Instead, let their grace surround you and teach you.

Be well and God bless.   Tom