Would you believe that this has been a disadvantage to him sometimes? Tyler's disabilities are severe and profound. He generally has the cognitive ability equal to a child under the age of 5. When Samantha was about 18 months old we noticed that most of her skills had surpassed his.
A frustration for me, and I'm sure the case for many people who care for severely disabled individuals, is that when they appear to look "normal", they are more easily misunderstood. Tyler looks quite typical and can be animated in his facial expressions, which has caused people to try and treat him as though he understands everything around him.
It is human nature for us to look at a person and make certain judgments and assumptions based on physical appearance. I would be lying if I said I wasn't guilty of this myself. Most of the time we can tuck this first impression away and wait to see if further input proves us right or wrong.But in Tyler's case, the first impression may be an aggressive act, a stumble, or speaking abruptly and loudly. Because he looks much more cognitively aware than what he really is, it leads people to think that he is intentionally being disruptive. They can falsely assume he is able to control himself but chooses not to.
At one point I thought about designing a t-shirt for Tyler that would read "It's not me - it's my autism". This is for comedic effect obviously, but I think it addresses a serious issue. Would it help a person who does not recognize the behaviors of the spectrum to not be so quick to rush to judgment. Could it actually promote understanding with the general public?
Actually, I think I will pitch my idea and see if I can get this done. Heck, you could make one for many diagnosis, especially those that are so hard to recognize. Wish me luck!
Be well and God bless. Tom
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