Why Ty Goes to Church

Good morning.

I was asked a very interesting question about Tyler going to church.  The question was "do you think Tyler really understands?"

There is a larger question there I believe.  How does religion play a role in raising a child with autism?  Especially if the child is non-verbal and "lower-functioning"?

For full disclosure, allow me to say that my own relationship with organized religion was strained for a very long time.  I used Tyler's disabilities as an excuse not to attend church.  I told myself it wouldn't be appropriate for him to go anyway.  I was using his disability to hide from my own demon.  Even when Tyler moved away and was attending his church every Sunday, I doubted whether he should be going, and I still didn't go myself.

All of that changed when we attended Tyler's baptism.  My eyes were opened on that day to just how important it was to him to be included in the church.  From that point on I supported Tyler attending, and made sure that we were attending also.  

So what really is the purpose of Tyler attending?  First, I think about how he affects those around him.  The congregation is delighted to have him worship along side of them.  They smile at him, shake his hand, and welcome him.  They consider him to be part of their family and I believe he enriches their experience.  He is an example of how we need to include our disabled brothers and sisters in every aspect of life, especially the spiritual aspects.

For Tyler, I can tell the church services give him a sense of being loved.  He feels surrounded by the warmth of his congregation.  He claps to the music.  He feels an incredible presence, and what he interprets that presence to be is irrelevant.  And for that matter, who am I to say exactly what he understands?

Lastly, the church is a positive influence on those around Tyler, that we may better understand him and respond to him.  It allows us to understand why compassion and tolerance toward Tyler, and all of those around us who need us, is in harmony with what we are being taught.

It'a also a great comfort to know that Tyler will be taken care of for all of the days of his life, and in the hereafter.

Be well and God bless.   Tom