Tyler Visit

Good Evening.

Last night we took another step forward in developing a routine to allow us to take Tyler out for more dinners and other such activities.  Our most recent goal has been to make Tyler comfortable enough to have us pick him up from his home, without staff, and take him out for a little while.  

This may seem like a simplistic goal, but for someone like Tyler, routine is EVERYTHING.  As his move to a residential home has taught me, routine is more important than any single person will ever be in his world.  Routine is what makes him feel safe, loved, and ok.  Our job is to understand this, and make this our priority as well.

When we pulled up to his house, we could hear him inside watching baseball.  "STRIKE!" he was shouting "BASE HIT!!".  He was having a good day.  We stepped inside and said hello. He looked a little puzzled, but went with it.  We got some hugs and he was ready to head out to the car.  The entire car ride was full of his mimics and stims aimed at getting responses from me.  He wanted to go through every car routine we ever did, from tapping my hand on the gear shift, to adjusting my hat 100 times.  He was full of joy, and moving at a million miles per hour.

We met another couple he hasn't seen for a long time.  Tonight's choice would be Mexican! "The King of Chips and Salsa" dove right into the basket.  A few minutes later the first glass of soda was gone too.  All the while he kept right on smiling, stimming, and blurting out happy speech.  At no point did he become impatient, or show any sign of even considering being aggressive.  This was just plain old happy Tyler.  He didn't eat much, which we chalked up to being distracted by seeing everyone.  But he behaved well for about an hour, which is when he started queuing me that he was ready to head back.

Tyler remained outwardly happy until we were about a half mile from the home.  He just suddenly got quiet.  It was as though he needed to process the transitioning he had been doing.  We pulled up to the house and he marched straight for the normal door to go in. Once inside, he went straight to his room, got his slippers, and sat down on the couch to do an activity and watch more baseball.  He was back into his routine.  He was home.  He blew us a kiss and gave us hugs and eagerly waived goodbye.  When he says goodbye, he is really saying "goodbye it's time for you to go".  

Robin and I left, and had good feelings to share on the way home.  He looks healthy.  He looks happy and secure in his surroundings.  His demeanor is very telling that he is in the right place for him.  Of course we miss him, every day in fact, but we also now have a life together, and with our daughter, that we can explore as well.

We are thankful for our time with Tyler, and hopeful that the future is bright for all of us.

Be well and God bless.   Tom