Just Keep Digging

I have a friend at work who is currently in a health struggle.  What makes matters worse is that the current COVID environment is delaying his ability to get down to the bottom of what is happening.  He and I have always had a habit of checking up on one another.  We share a love for the same beach area, we both have children that we worry over, and we both try to pick the other one up when things are going cruddy.  It can't be easy when things are failing you and you can't get the answers as to why.  

When thinking about him, I thought about Tyler.  A few months ago, Tyler was not doing well at all.  He was struggling with quickly overturning staff, undertrained staff, and other issues that sent him into an emotional and physical nose dive.  Like my friend, we felt like we were fighting with both arms tied behind our backs.

For full disclosure, I could not be the caregiver I once was.  I think I swallowed so much anxiety for so long that it deeply effected how I could handle the same scenarios today.  I've become much more comfortable with advocating from the outer circle.  But one thing that still comes back to me is the ability to keep digging when things suddenly go bad.  It has become a survival instinct of sorts.  Here are the steps that work for me:

1. Give myself time to feel bad.  I know that sounds silly, but I need to have a short time period where I feel bad for myself, get quiet, sulk, take long walks, drink too much bourbon, or just kick rocks.  It cleanses me and allows me to move to the next step.

2. Assess my situation.  Now that I've thrown my hissy-fit, I can now take a deep breath and assess where I am.  This is important!  I look at what my REAL problems are that need to be solved.  Once I start fighting it does no good to punch at the air.  What needs to happen to turn things around?

3. I start digging.  I find myself feeling better when I am active in the solution process.  This is where the e-mails start flying, and the phone calls.  Time to start gathering the troops of people who can help you dig out of the hole.

4. I get persistent.  Once I have my targets figured out, and the ball is rolling, I keep digging until something changes.  I tell myself that nothing will happen until something happens.  And then I dig some more.

I used to watch The West Wing, and they told a story on there that goes something like this:

Man falls into a hole...doctor walks by and the man says "can you help me out?" The doctor throws him a prescription and keeps walking.  A priest walks by and the man says "can you help me out?" The priest says a prayer and keeps walking.  The man's friend walks by and the man says "can you help me out?" and the friend jumps down in the hole.  The man says "are you crazy??  Now we are both down here!".  The friend says "Yeah...but I've been here and I know the way out".

We are all falling into holes right now.  Some are much deeper than others.  Its the really deep ones that get scary.  They can become dark, and exhaust us so badly that we feel like they have swallowed us whole.  But we have to keep fighting and digging.  And when we get tired we let someone dig some for us until we finally find the way out.  

To my friend and all of those trying to find the way out.  Just keep digging.  

Be well and God bless.   Tom