A Special Message for Tonya

Good afternoon!

It seems over and over I talk about how there are special people that cross our paths every day.  It's really a matter of whether we have our hearts open enough to find them.

Today during Tyler's baptism (more on that in the next post) I noticed a young lady who seemed especially touched by the ceremony.  I don't think I can adequately describe it but she appeared to have a very personal cord which this had touched.  After the conclusion of the service I found her sitting with some family enjoying some refreshments in the church basement.  I had to approach her even though she didn't know me from Santa Clause.  I won't forget our brief conversation and this message is for her and so many other good folks like her:

I'm humbled to know that this blog means so much to you.  The feelings that you have right now about your child's situation is the very inspiration for me to continue on.  My wife and I have lived through the very heartbreak that you are experiencing now.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  You might feel terrified about what the future will hold.  Your child becoming older, more aggressive, and less engaged is not due to anything you have done wrong.  But it hurts.  It hurts to feel as though your own child is rejecting you.  It hurts to be angry with no one to be angry with.  You HAVE to remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  Trust that every time you need to find more strength that it will be there somehow, some way.  And every time it seems like things get too heavy to carry, someone will help you pick it back up.  

Every time you feel like you are struggling I want you to do these 5 things:

• Remember your faith.  It will not judge you, leave you, or turn its back on you
• Lean on those who are there for you.  Do not consume yourself with those who are negative or make your situation more difficult
• Breathe.  You have to find ways to mentally refresh yourself even if its 15 minutes a day
• Give your feelings a voice.  Don't be afraid of them or deny them.  You may be surprised that things begin to change when they are out in the open.  
• Ask for help.  Be someone's squeeky wheel.  The more involved you feel the better you will feel.  Remember nothing changes unless something changes.

Bless you and your entire family.  Don't lose hope.  There are many of us fighting the good fight right along with you.

Be well and God bless.   Tom