There was a tremendous amount of anxiety knowing that we were making a decision that would change Tyler's life forever. On that morning it would have been easy to have turned the car around a hundred times. We could have just headed for the beach to hide for a while. The loudspeaker playing in my head was switching stations ranging from the "did I do everything I could" channel to the "24-hour guilt" channel. Tyler sat right next to me in the car not able to know or understand what was about to happen. It was as though the world was moving in slowly motion.
The one thing that we had to fall back on was that we had to have faith in the plan that we had so carefully developed. We had to trust that we had made decisions that were sound and coming from our hearts. Thinking this way was the only hope I had of getting through that day. It was the only hope I had to not break down.
So here we are a year later. Tyler has proven that he could be happy in the right home. Our daughter has acclimated to having full run of the house. And everyone has learned to live very different but fulfilling lives.
When we, as caregivers, are about to make tremendously important decisions we have to do our homework. Decisions should be made with as little emotional interference as we possibly can. Preparation and sound judgement is everything. And most importantly once there is a plan we have to have faith and stay the course.
May the next year be as successful as the last. Be well and God bless. Tom
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