Submit Questions

I would like to invite everyone to use the comment section to ask a question if you have one. I certainly don't mind, but rather, I think its important to be open and honest about any aspect of our journey with Tyler.  Please feel free to be open with your questions, and I will be happy to answer them in kind.

One reader has asked me how I feel to actually see him now in person. 

Its a mixture of emotions for me.  The overriding thing I feel is joy to see him.  Each time I see him he is smiling and loud and happy to see me, so this immediately lifts me up.  He is still a very bright light in my life and I can feel that shine the second I see him.  Our connection comes straight to the front and we seem to pick up right where we left off.  He likes to laugh with me and do his little imitations of my familiar habits.

There is an underlying sense of anxiety as well.  While I'm with him I begin to become more hypersensitive to the environment around us.  Even though there is a staffer among us, I start to feel that need to control the situation to keep him and everyone else safe.  It isn't necessary, I consciously know that, but the instinct and habit takes over.  Last time we went out to eat I immediately jumped up after the meal and guided him out of the restaurant.  I knew even as it was happening that my response was purely reflex and I need to work on not doing that anymore.

After the visit there is the quiet period of reflection.  It still feels strange to turn and leave him with someone else.  In the quiet there are some guilty feelings and a feeling of almost "mourning".  This is where we usually talk and take inventory of where things currently stand.  We point out that he looks very healthy and seems to have a very energetic and happy disposition.  This helps to keep the guilty thoughts at bay.

Overall the emotions are complex.  Another good reason to have other people that can listen to you and help you sort it out.  My goal is to just continue to slowly manage these feelings, not control them.  After all, suppressing them is no good, so it's important to allow them to happen but to have checks-and-balances in place to help cope with them.  

I look forward to other questions and will post them as I get them!

Be well and God bless.   Tom