Time

Time is a comforter that tells us we will heal

It offers the promise of long and happy days

We look forward to the secrets it will reveal

Like paintings swirled with lights and grays

Time is a master of lies and crude deception

Watching us grow old and crooked like trees

Fading memories and heartbeats without exception

Reminding us there were never any guarantees

Time marches forward without the slightest care

The ground rumbles beneath its strides

Merciless and ignorant to what is fair

Bringing forth and wiping away like storming tides

Time can be gentle and soft like a lazy cozy nap

Where breezes and sounds surround the room

Sunshine on a wooded path or a puppy on your lap

Or rainy day popcorn and movies to chase away the gloom

Oh time is what we make of it, this is sure

We cannot stop its march but we can embrace it

Our mission is not to simply survive or to endure

But to come to the starting line and race it

Pieces of Me

 I've always been a deeply sentimental person.  It just seems to be part of my nature.  When I receive a gift that is personal it is something that I hold in extremely high regard.  

My Dad gave me a watch a few years ago that I will never part with.  The painting of Tyler by the ocean is an heirloom that I hope to pass through the generations.  I have a Christmas ornament which is really just a photograph of my Grandfather with cotton balls stuck on it to make a Santa beard.  These are some of the things that I cherish because they came from the heart of someone special to me.

I received such a gift today.  A few of my friends at work have listened to my ongoing saga about trying to find a small condo at Myrtle Beach.  This is something I have dreamed about for over a decade.  I've also talked endlessly about how much the beach means to me and how it puts me closer to Tyler because of the time we spent there.  Recently, we have found a little place close to the beach and we are so excited to be working through the process of finalizing it.

I was surprised when one of my friends, Kevin, told me that his wife had a house-warming gift for me.  Now we all seem to share great, biting, and sometimes cynical senses of humor so I wasn't sure exactly what to expect.  But his wife, Christy, is a very thoughtful and articulate person so I was intrigued at the thought.  Today Kevin pulled me to the side and said Christy was dropping off my gift.  I felt a little embarrassed, after all, they are a young couple just buying a new house of their own so surely they have better things to worry about than me and my silly beach condo.  But there she soon was, presenting me with my present.  

She explained that this was no ordinary shell, but that this was a shell she found over 10 years ago in Cape May.  She was just walking on the beach and couldn't believe she found this big, beautiful shell.  She has kept it every since and cherished having it.  She said that when she heard about Tyler's story, and our story of holding memories of our beach time with him, she wanted for me to have it.  

It is a beautiful shell, but it means so much more because it was a piece of her and Kevin.  It is a piece of her story that she wanted to become part of our story, and I can't think of anything cooler than that. This shell will have a very special place in our new home and will undoubtedly become a story we will share with others.  

This piece of her, and piece of my friend Kevin, is now a piece of our family.  It is a piece of our story. And as such, it is worth all the gold in the world.  

Be well and God bless.   Tom

Don't Forget to Dream

 To my daughter,

My beautiful and stubborn Sam....you are so much like me.  As you move through your life you will find that our particular way of thinking makes the good times very good, and the bad times very difficult.  But you will also find that every joy and pain is worth the trip.  There is something I want to tell you today, and that is to never stop dreaming.  

When I was about 8 years old, I dreamt of playing for the Phillies.  I was a solid young baseball player and I just knew the Phillies would want me at second base. Within a couple of years I had become a good young bowler.  My dreams suddenly shifted to become a world famous professional bowler.  I imaged being on TV and becoming a legend in the sport.

While these dreams may have been true longshots, they were extremely important at that time.  I didn't have a ton of friends in school but those teammates I had outside of school were my family.  Because I was very small I had to endure some bullying at school but I knew in my heart that I was good at other things.  I was driven to make my dreams come true so I could show the world what I could really do.

Even though my early dreams didn't come true, I always found a new one.  You see, dreams should be big and seemingly impossible.  Dreams don't always happen, but they should be incredible if they come true. If they do come true, or even come close to coming true, they should change your life forever.

After my bowling dream, I lost sight of dreaming for a while.  One of the few things that made me happy was writing.  I found myself dreaming that my writings would become public, and actually help the people that read it.  Soon I had a blog with over 50,000 views, and then I had a magazine article, and then a national website article.  I also began getting feedback that my words were helping people.  Some people commented that my writing spoke for people in ways they were not able to do for themselves.  Hearing that touches me beyond words.

I wasn't done dreaming yet.  Over the last few years I wanted a little beach place to call my own.  I wanted a place where I could be at peace and reflect on the many ups and downs we experienced over the years.  It was a bog dream but I was persistent.

It appears that this dream is on the verge of coming true.  Nearly a year of financial management, hard work, and perseverance is very close to paying off.  Even at 51 years old I needed to dream.  I needed to have a goal bigger than the every day grind that had become my life.

So Samantha, I want you to always have a dream.  Make sure it is big and nearly impossible.  Make it bigger than anything else in the word around you.  Most importantly, make sure you enjoy the ride to get to your dream.  Even if the goal doesn't exactly happen, you will learn so much along the way.  

But one day, maybe if everything lines up just right, your dream will come true.  If it does, your life will become more fulfilling than you ever imagined possible.  Dare to dream.  Never lose sight of your dreams.  And never let anyone step on your dreams.  Be the brave person that I know you to be, and I promise you that dreams will come true.

Love.  Dad

Servant Leadership

This week our company welcomed a new Operations Manager to the fold.  JB has an extensive military and manufacturing background, which should fit very well as we continue forward. 

As with any new person, I was mostly open-minded while slightly apprehensive.  Fortunately he seems like a good guy with a willingness to learn what we are all about.  As we were having an early conversation, I was talking about how I would be cooking on the grill for our employees the following week.  He liked the idea and put it into a term that I hadn't used before, "servant leadership".

Today we had an ice cream truck come and serve Italian ice, ice cream, and gelatos.  While the employees were being served, I greeted each one and thanked them for working hard and working safely.  I took the opportunity to talk with employees that I scarcely know, and joke with those I do.  With each handshake and fist bump it helped to relieve the stresses we have endured during and after the pandemic.

While chatting with the employees I couldn't help but think about that term over and over again.  Servant leadership.  Nothing that I do is more important in my job than serving the others that work there.  I am there if they have concerns, or need an injury tended to, or need advice.  

Lately we have experienced difficulties with Tyler's living situation.  There were times where emotions were easily able to take over and make decision-making more challenging.  It would have been easy to allow anger and frustration speak for me, but I needed to think about what was best for Tyler.  I needed to be a servant leader to him.  What is best for him?  How do I improve his situation in the short and long term?  What would HE want me to do?  As it turns out (in a story to be told later), Tyler has been able to begin recovering from the difficulties because this approach was taken.

The last few days I ran into an old friend DC who was doing some work in our place.  DC is used often in his line of work because we know he does an honest job, and is very good to work with.  He returns calls, deals with customers politely, and puts pride into what he does.  We had a nice conversation catching up, which was a stark reminder that we all deal with sets of challenges that most people never see below the surface.  And yet, he is treats people right.  He is a gentleman and a professional in every sense of the word.  He obviously understands servant leadership.

Another work friend I have is SR.  She is an executive assistant who takes care of the people around her.  I am not an executive, but she doesn't care.  If I need her help I know she is there for me.  But even more importantly, she is always there to encourage, appreciate, and comfort me whenever I need it.  Its not unusual for her to send me a short e-mail telling me how much she appreciates the job I do.  And it always seems to come at just the right time.

All of these people and my conversation with JB reminded me how important servant leadership is.  It puts the other person first.  It builds the other person and makes them better.  It lifts our world just a little bit.

We need to remember as we serve our special needs loved ones, families, friends, and strangers, that to be leaders we should reserve ourselves to be servant leaders.  We should teach others how to practice servant leadership.  It will truly help this world to be a better plaee.

Be well and God bless.    Tom

Telling Tyler's Story

You don't have to know me for very long to understand that Tyler is a source of tremendous love and pride for me.  In fact, being a Dad to Tyler and Sam is something I feel honored to be.  They are gifts from God that I cherish every day.

This week I collaborated with Salt Life (you probably see the t-shirts and car decals) to tell Tyler's story and his love for the ocean.  I am beyond excited and honored that they chose to publish an article about him.  My hope is that it shows how wonderful being a father is, and how our special needs children can tell an amazing story and be amazing people, even when they cannot speak for themselves.

Tyler.....this one is for you buddy.  Special thanks to Salt Life for giving me the best Father's Day ever.

www.saltlife.com/the-daily-salt/lifestyle/tyler-and-his-dad-living-the-salt-life