Don't Forget to Dream

 To my daughter,

My beautiful and stubborn Sam....you are so much like me.  As you move through your life you will find that our particular way of thinking makes the good times very good, and the bad times very difficult.  But you will also find that every joy and pain is worth the trip.  There is something I want to tell you today, and that is to never stop dreaming.  

When I was about 8 years old, I dreamt of playing for the Phillies.  I was a solid young baseball player and I just knew the Phillies would want me at second base. Within a couple of years I had become a good young bowler.  My dreams suddenly shifted to become a world famous professional bowler.  I imaged being on TV and becoming a legend in the sport.

While these dreams may have been true longshots, they were extremely important at that time.  I didn't have a ton of friends in school but those teammates I had outside of school were my family.  Because I was very small I had to endure some bullying at school but I knew in my heart that I was good at other things.  I was driven to make my dreams come true so I could show the world what I could really do.

Even though my early dreams didn't come true, I always found a new one.  You see, dreams should be big and seemingly impossible.  Dreams don't always happen, but they should be incredible if they come true. If they do come true, or even come close to coming true, they should change your life forever.

After my bowling dream, I lost sight of dreaming for a while.  One of the few things that made me happy was writing.  I found myself dreaming that my writings would become public, and actually help the people that read it.  Soon I had a blog with over 50,000 views, and then I had a magazine article, and then a national website article.  I also began getting feedback that my words were helping people.  Some people commented that my writing spoke for people in ways they were not able to do for themselves.  Hearing that touches me beyond words.

I wasn't done dreaming yet.  Over the last few years I wanted a little beach place to call my own.  I wanted a place where I could be at peace and reflect on the many ups and downs we experienced over the years.  It was a bog dream but I was persistent.

It appears that this dream is on the verge of coming true.  Nearly a year of financial management, hard work, and perseverance is very close to paying off.  Even at 51 years old I needed to dream.  I needed to have a goal bigger than the every day grind that had become my life.

So Samantha, I want you to always have a dream.  Make sure it is big and nearly impossible.  Make it bigger than anything else in the word around you.  Most importantly, make sure you enjoy the ride to get to your dream.  Even if the goal doesn't exactly happen, you will learn so much along the way.  

But one day, maybe if everything lines up just right, your dream will come true.  If it does, your life will become more fulfilling than you ever imagined possible.  Dare to dream.  Never lose sight of your dreams.  And never let anyone step on your dreams.  Be the brave person that I know you to be, and I promise you that dreams will come true.

Love.  Dad

Servant Leadership

This week our company welcomed a new Operations Manager to the fold.  JB has an extensive military and manufacturing background, which should fit very well as we continue forward. 

As with any new person, I was mostly open-minded while slightly apprehensive.  Fortunately he seems like a good guy with a willingness to learn what we are all about.  As we were having an early conversation, I was talking about how I would be cooking on the grill for our employees the following week.  He liked the idea and put it into a term that I hadn't used before, "servant leadership".

Today we had an ice cream truck come and serve Italian ice, ice cream, and gelatos.  While the employees were being served, I greeted each one and thanked them for working hard and working safely.  I took the opportunity to talk with employees that I scarcely know, and joke with those I do.  With each handshake and fist bump it helped to relieve the stresses we have endured during and after the pandemic.

While chatting with the employees I couldn't help but think about that term over and over again.  Servant leadership.  Nothing that I do is more important in my job than serving the others that work there.  I am there if they have concerns, or need an injury tended to, or need advice.  

Lately we have experienced difficulties with Tyler's living situation.  There were times where emotions were easily able to take over and make decision-making more challenging.  It would have been easy to allow anger and frustration speak for me, but I needed to think about what was best for Tyler.  I needed to be a servant leader to him.  What is best for him?  How do I improve his situation in the short and long term?  What would HE want me to do?  As it turns out (in a story to be told later), Tyler has been able to begin recovering from the difficulties because this approach was taken.

The last few days I ran into an old friend DC who was doing some work in our place.  DC is used often in his line of work because we know he does an honest job, and is very good to work with.  He returns calls, deals with customers politely, and puts pride into what he does.  We had a nice conversation catching up, which was a stark reminder that we all deal with sets of challenges that most people never see below the surface.  And yet, he is treats people right.  He is a gentleman and a professional in every sense of the word.  He obviously understands servant leadership.

Another work friend I have is SR.  She is an executive assistant who takes care of the people around her.  I am not an executive, but she doesn't care.  If I need her help I know she is there for me.  But even more importantly, she is always there to encourage, appreciate, and comfort me whenever I need it.  Its not unusual for her to send me a short e-mail telling me how much she appreciates the job I do.  And it always seems to come at just the right time.

All of these people and my conversation with JB reminded me how important servant leadership is.  It puts the other person first.  It builds the other person and makes them better.  It lifts our world just a little bit.

We need to remember as we serve our special needs loved ones, families, friends, and strangers, that to be leaders we should reserve ourselves to be servant leaders.  We should teach others how to practice servant leadership.  It will truly help this world to be a better plaee.

Be well and God bless.    Tom

Telling Tyler's Story

You don't have to know me for very long to understand that Tyler is a source of tremendous love and pride for me.  In fact, being a Dad to Tyler and Sam is something I feel honored to be.  They are gifts from God that I cherish every day.

This week I collaborated with Salt Life (you probably see the t-shirts and car decals) to tell Tyler's story and his love for the ocean.  I am beyond excited and honored that they chose to publish an article about him.  My hope is that it shows how wonderful being a father is, and how our special needs children can tell an amazing story and be amazing people, even when they cannot speak for themselves.

Tyler.....this one is for you buddy.  Special thanks to Salt Life for giving me the best Father's Day ever.

www.saltlife.com/the-daily-salt/lifestyle/tyler-and-his-dad-living-the-salt-life

A Post By Allen Schneider

Today I wanted to share the link for a post by Allen Schneider.  Allen is an incredible father and an amazing spokesman for special needs dad's everywhere.  His entire family takes the word "inspirational" and redefines it.

https://www.theautismdaddy.com/the-finish-line-my-most-difficult-day-as-an-autism-dad/?fbclid=IwAR03OKvBgTymohj5_7EtF6Z3-G96eWQHbm9b4vTb7FSRck3PXkbtQhc91e0

The host of this particular post is Frank Campagna, aka AutismDaddy, who is an incredible inspiration in his own right.

I can tell you that one of the most difficult thoughts that special needs parents face is how to manage a disastrous event with your child in the line of fire.  I can't possibly count the number of nightmares I have had where I can't save Tyler from something happening.  Its my mind playing out the fear of being helpless to save myself much less to save him.  Its the pure weight of being totally responsible for another human being manifested into terror.

Allen and his family have found running to be the most special of outlets for their boys and their lives seem much richer because of it.  But this story details their experience on the day of the Boston Marathon terrorist attack.  

The blog is so well written, and so intensely familiar to my emotions, that I could feel myself taking the journey with them, nodding all the way.

Please click or copy-and-paste the link.  Also buy their book "Silent Running" which is just as amazing as today's blog.

Be well and God bless.   Tom

Tribute to Dick Hoyt

Dick Hoyt was a giant.  The world is a lesser place for having lost him this week. 

If you aren't familiar with Team Hoyt, Dick's son Rick was born with cerebral palsy in 1962.  The family was immediately encouraged to send Rick to an institution as there was no hope for him to be more than "a vegetable".  His parents held out hope because they saw something in his eyes that only parents can see.  With time, perseverance, and love, Rick learned to read, went to school, graduated college, and worked to develop special needs communication devices.

In 1977, Rick learned of a classmate who had become paralyzed, and he wanted to help.  He wanted to show his friend, and the world, that life can go on despite profound disabilities.  He and his father Dick ran their first race.  Rick told his father "Dad, when I'm running, it feels like I'm not handicapped".  That would be the beginning of a remarkable journey.

Dick would train (he was not a runner prior to the 1977 race) and build his endurance.  In all, he and Rick would run 72 marathons, including the Boston Marathon an amazing 32 times.  They competed in 1130 total events over the span of nearly 40 years. 

  

"Inspirational" is an oft-used word and I'm not sure it scratches the service of what Dick and Rick mean to the special needs community.  I watched a story on them once (I believe it was an ESPN story) and was in awe of the love and dedication between father and son.  They had found their way of leaving "disability" behind and simply tilted their heads into the wind and enjoyed freedom.  

I did not know the Hoyt family, but am part of the same special needs family with them.  Whether we are writing blogs, creating Muppet characters, writing books, or running races, we want to help our children leave a special mark on the world.  We want people to see that we are strong, thoughtful parents that our children are incredible people for what they can accomplish and mean to others.

God bless you Dick Hoyt....may you enjoy a long and peaceful rest.  You've earned that and so much more.