A Sister's Love

Our daughter Samantha is a very special little girl.  She is bright, beautiful, and full of life.  She is also a stubborn pain in the rear which is something else that I love about her.  But what makes her so amazing is the love and concern that she has for her brother.

Tyler never had the capacity to care about Samantha.  Little kids were never something he was comfortable with to begin with, so when this little crying, crawling, drooling thing entered his life he was predictably unimpressed.  To his credit, Tyler never caused any physical harm to Samantha.  He did smack her on the head a few times with his hand, and Robin and I spent a lot of time providing a buffer zone to protect Sam, but he also did his share of restraint too.

Samantha knew at a very early age that Tyler was not typical.  I believe during those early years that she was as understanding and accommodating that a very young person could be.  She was asked to understand very complex issues and she did her very best.  I also know there were times that I got frustrated with her for not correctly responding to him and I regret that.  I look back now with the benefit of hindsight and I realize just how much she contributed in her own way.

We explained to Samantha about 6 months ago that Tyler was going to be moving to a residential home.  To be honest, I expected her to be relieved.  I expected that I would have to have a talk with her about not being TOO happy with the news.  What she said floored me instead.  She thought for a moment and said she didn't want him to go.  That Tyler needs a lot of help and that he should be with his family to help him.

To me her statement was the most honest and pure love there is....she loves him without regard for what she gets in return.  How beautiful is that!

Even now, with months having gone by and Samantha living a very different type of life, she asks about him often.  She cried at Christmas when she saw an ornament with his picture because she didn't want to share Christmas without him.  She writes him letters and makes him pictures awaiting her next time to see him. 

I just wanted to share how proud I am to have a daughter who can only see her brother as  just that, her brother.  Not a man with autism, not a person that she had to be cautious around....just her big brother.  If she can love someone so unconditionally, so can every one of us.

Be well and good luck.  Tom