It doesn't matter who we are
Where we work, or rest our head
Nor does it matter lessons learned
Shows we've watched, or books we've read
Time shows not a bit of care
It marches to an unstoppable beat
And we are merely blades of grass
Trampled beneath its pounding feet
We curse the time for all it does
Yet pray that we may have some more
It merely smirks and marches on
The desperate pleas it must ignore
We gray, we tire, we weaken
We may even lose the will to try
But time will not miss a step
And won't think twice to pass us by
Determined we must rise again
Refuse to let time have its way
Accept the fact the past is passed
And make the most of every day
Rise and meet time face to face
Fight to make each minute last
Fill them all with joy and love
So time won't pass by so fast
They say time waits for no man
I suppose this must be true
The better strategy my friends
Make time catch up to you!
Be well and make every minute count. Tom
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
For Ronnie
This post is dedicated to a late dear friend of mine, Ronnie.
Ronnie and I bowled together in the early 90's. We were wonderful friends from the start. Tyler liked him too as Ronnie was an open and jovial spirit and loved to interact with others. Ronnie would laugh and laugh by getting my son to imitate Ric Flair. "Woooooooooo" he would say.
Now being in my 20's I was not what you might call a sentimental guy yet, and Ronnie was perhaps 20 years older than me or more, which made him look at life differently than I did. Every time I saw Ronnie he hugged me, and every time we parted company he hugged me again and told me he loved me. At first this made me a bit squeamish just for the simple fact that we were GUYS and guys don't hug and say I love you to each other! Guys grunt, fart, and talk about boobs which means they love you. Its all in the translation, you see. But Ronnie changed me forever because I learned to appreciate that from him and understand the power that comes from expressing yourself honestly.
Years ago Ronnie became sick and passed away. And even though we saw each other only weekly mostly through bowling, it left a hole in my heart. But I have never, ever forgotten what our friendship taught me. Reaching out to people is a wonderful thing. Saying "I love you" is a wonderful thing. Embracing someone is a wonderful thing. These are the most precious gifts that we as people can give to each other.
I currently have a friend who has been hospitalized with complications from a condition he has had all of his life. We have been friends for a relatively short period of time but he is important to me. We talk about sports, we take exercise walks together, and we just support one another. We are quite a distance apart due to me traveling but I'm texting him a few times a day and offered to help with the kids or house or whatever until he is back on his feet. He would do exactly the same for me I know it.
We all know people that are in need because we ALL have needs. We all have struggles. I believe that the more we change the macho man culture the better. It is not a weakness to reach out to other people when you need help, it is a strength. It is not creepy to embrace another man, it is a show of strength and love. I write in this blog as my way to reach other people and I hope and pray that it helps. Its my way of hugging all of you who struggle with special needs care, or struggle as a parent, or just struggle with life.
I hope that by putting away male stereotypes and reaching out to others the best way I know how, that it may be an inspiration for you to do the same. That is how Ronnie did it for me.
This hug is for you Ronnie. And this "WOOOOOOOOOOO!" I love you.
Tom
Ronnie and I bowled together in the early 90's. We were wonderful friends from the start. Tyler liked him too as Ronnie was an open and jovial spirit and loved to interact with others. Ronnie would laugh and laugh by getting my son to imitate Ric Flair. "Woooooooooo" he would say.
Now being in my 20's I was not what you might call a sentimental guy yet, and Ronnie was perhaps 20 years older than me or more, which made him look at life differently than I did. Every time I saw Ronnie he hugged me, and every time we parted company he hugged me again and told me he loved me. At first this made me a bit squeamish just for the simple fact that we were GUYS and guys don't hug and say I love you to each other! Guys grunt, fart, and talk about boobs which means they love you. Its all in the translation, you see. But Ronnie changed me forever because I learned to appreciate that from him and understand the power that comes from expressing yourself honestly.
Years ago Ronnie became sick and passed away. And even though we saw each other only weekly mostly through bowling, it left a hole in my heart. But I have never, ever forgotten what our friendship taught me. Reaching out to people is a wonderful thing. Saying "I love you" is a wonderful thing. Embracing someone is a wonderful thing. These are the most precious gifts that we as people can give to each other.
I currently have a friend who has been hospitalized with complications from a condition he has had all of his life. We have been friends for a relatively short period of time but he is important to me. We talk about sports, we take exercise walks together, and we just support one another. We are quite a distance apart due to me traveling but I'm texting him a few times a day and offered to help with the kids or house or whatever until he is back on his feet. He would do exactly the same for me I know it.
We all know people that are in need because we ALL have needs. We all have struggles. I believe that the more we change the macho man culture the better. It is not a weakness to reach out to other people when you need help, it is a strength. It is not creepy to embrace another man, it is a show of strength and love. I write in this blog as my way to reach other people and I hope and pray that it helps. Its my way of hugging all of you who struggle with special needs care, or struggle as a parent, or just struggle with life.
I hope that by putting away male stereotypes and reaching out to others the best way I know how, that it may be an inspiration for you to do the same. That is how Ronnie did it for me.
This hug is for you Ronnie. And this "WOOOOOOOOOOO!" I love you.
Tom
Saturday, August 27, 2016
Aug Tyler Update
Good morning!
We got some very interesting updates about Tyler this week that I would like to share.
He visited one of his favorite people this week, Gina, to get his hair cut. Gina has the personality he loves; loud, honest, and unfiltered. But also kind and warm. She said she is so impressed by his demeanor now, he seems happy and calm. As always he ended the appointment by giving Gina a monster hug.
I also touched base with his day program. He is being introduced to new activities which seems to be working nicely. The staff shake-up a few months ago has not seemed to caused any permanent change in his ability to thrive there. By all accounts he looks forward to being there and is comfortable with his surroundings.
The home also reports that everything continues to be going smoothly. His health has been good, and he had an annual physical which showed no issues. A dentist appointment was also done with good results. Even with staffers taking vacations he has done well with those standing in. His medications have been effective and right now we are holding on any changes since he is so stable.
With his church community, residential team, medical team, and day program team caring for him with such devotion we have incredible faith that he has everything he needs.
Be well and God Bless. Tom
We got some very interesting updates about Tyler this week that I would like to share.
He visited one of his favorite people this week, Gina, to get his hair cut. Gina has the personality he loves; loud, honest, and unfiltered. But also kind and warm. She said she is so impressed by his demeanor now, he seems happy and calm. As always he ended the appointment by giving Gina a monster hug.
I also touched base with his day program. He is being introduced to new activities which seems to be working nicely. The staff shake-up a few months ago has not seemed to caused any permanent change in his ability to thrive there. By all accounts he looks forward to being there and is comfortable with his surroundings.
The home also reports that everything continues to be going smoothly. His health has been good, and he had an annual physical which showed no issues. A dentist appointment was also done with good results. Even with staffers taking vacations he has done well with those standing in. His medications have been effective and right now we are holding on any changes since he is so stable.
With his church community, residential team, medical team, and day program team caring for him with such devotion we have incredible faith that he has everything he needs.
Be well and God Bless. Tom
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Take the Time
Good Afternoon.
As caregivers there is often a degree of isolation that we experience. It starts off rather slowly and innocently enough, but then it starts to grow. Those of us who have special children for instance will be able to function somewhat normally when they are young, but then as time goes on, and the child becomes larger, and the challenges become more difficult, we get more tired. We can begin to seek the isolation perhaps without realizing it.
When Tyler was little, we used to visit friends houses, go to gathering, the mall, and so on. It was easy when he could be placed in a stroller or up on my shoulders. He loved the world and all the world loved him because he was small and cute. As he got older and more mobile we started to host more activities at our house. After all if he was going to get frustrated and kick a wall it might as well be OUR wall and not someone else's. Eventually this isolation crept over much of our lives, much like ivy taking over a wall.
I mention this because last night during my current trip I had dinner with a friend that I genuinely care for and respect as a person, father, and man of faith. We spent nearly 3 hours eating, talking, and sharing our stories about our families. What made it so interesting was that we each actually come from different political perspectives and yet that mattered not one bit the entire time. We talked about our children, schools, the blog, vacations, and current events as 2 men hoping to be good examples before God. There were times that we laughed and other times that we became choked up. I think we both left feeling better than when we arrived.
It was such an important reminder to me how important these relationships are in our lives. It doesn't matter if right now you are caring for a child with autism or an adult with dementia, or anything in between....the principle remains the same. You HAVE to have relationships that make you happy and uplift you. If the best you can do right now is invite that person over for a cup of coffee, do it. If you can manage one hour to meet them for dinner, do it. Take the time. When you listen to someone else you change your own perspective, and you change theirs.
TAKE THE TIME. Please. Send a text or an e-mail to someone that you are inspired and uplifted by. Even a few minutes of good fellowship will feed so much energy into your heart and soul that it could have a great impact on your life.
Be well and God bless. Tom
As caregivers there is often a degree of isolation that we experience. It starts off rather slowly and innocently enough, but then it starts to grow. Those of us who have special children for instance will be able to function somewhat normally when they are young, but then as time goes on, and the child becomes larger, and the challenges become more difficult, we get more tired. We can begin to seek the isolation perhaps without realizing it.
When Tyler was little, we used to visit friends houses, go to gathering, the mall, and so on. It was easy when he could be placed in a stroller or up on my shoulders. He loved the world and all the world loved him because he was small and cute. As he got older and more mobile we started to host more activities at our house. After all if he was going to get frustrated and kick a wall it might as well be OUR wall and not someone else's. Eventually this isolation crept over much of our lives, much like ivy taking over a wall.
I mention this because last night during my current trip I had dinner with a friend that I genuinely care for and respect as a person, father, and man of faith. We spent nearly 3 hours eating, talking, and sharing our stories about our families. What made it so interesting was that we each actually come from different political perspectives and yet that mattered not one bit the entire time. We talked about our children, schools, the blog, vacations, and current events as 2 men hoping to be good examples before God. There were times that we laughed and other times that we became choked up. I think we both left feeling better than when we arrived.
It was such an important reminder to me how important these relationships are in our lives. It doesn't matter if right now you are caring for a child with autism or an adult with dementia, or anything in between....the principle remains the same. You HAVE to have relationships that make you happy and uplift you. If the best you can do right now is invite that person over for a cup of coffee, do it. If you can manage one hour to meet them for dinner, do it. Take the time. When you listen to someone else you change your own perspective, and you change theirs.
TAKE THE TIME. Please. Send a text or an e-mail to someone that you are inspired and uplifted by. Even a few minutes of good fellowship will feed so much energy into your heart and soul that it could have a great impact on your life.
Be well and God bless. Tom
Monday, August 22, 2016
Back To School
Good Afternoon.
We sent our second grader off to school for her first day today. As she stepped on the bus we stood back and hoped that every bit of love and protection in our hearts is following right along with her. We try to teach her right from wrong, and how to be respectfully and kind to those around her, and today she once again sets out into the world to make us proud.
I think today is one of the most entertaining days for social media. So many of our friends post pictures of their children getting ready for their first day of school. It shows that no matter how crazy our children drive us, we love them and we take joy in marking their growth.
I'm posting this today because it inspires me to see so many parents showing love for their children. We know single Moms and Dads. We know families who the parents have disabilities, families with disabled children, racially mixed families, and same-sex parents. Parents of police officers, dancers, hockey players, and military personnel. Parents on the east coast, middle, and western coast of the country. All of us are different in almost every single way...except one: we love our children unconditionally.
We sent our second grader off to school for her first day today. As she stepped on the bus we stood back and hoped that every bit of love and protection in our hearts is following right along with her. We try to teach her right from wrong, and how to be respectfully and kind to those around her, and today she once again sets out into the world to make us proud.
I think today is one of the most entertaining days for social media. So many of our friends post pictures of their children getting ready for their first day of school. It shows that no matter how crazy our children drive us, we love them and we take joy in marking their growth.
I'm posting this today because it inspires me to see so many parents showing love for their children. We know single Moms and Dads. We know families who the parents have disabilities, families with disabled children, racially mixed families, and same-sex parents. Parents of police officers, dancers, hockey players, and military personnel. Parents on the east coast, middle, and western coast of the country. All of us are different in almost every single way...except one: we love our children unconditionally.
Imagine our world right now if every child had a parent or parents that made sure they were loved and nurtured. So many of our communities are facing incredible difficulties for a host of reasons, one of which is children being raised by absent parents or by other relatives because they have been cast away from their parents. We need to appreciate those who do step in to provide for those children who are otherwise not being provided for. After all, children should learn the world from their parents. When they see their parents treat people with respect, they learn to be respectful. When they feel secure, they will be likely to want to contribute to a better world. But when children are abused, ignored, hungry, and alone, they feel the world has turned away from them, so they turn away from the world.
Whether you are a special needs parent or a typical parent the message is the same....be the model for which your children view the world. Teach them self-respect and respect for others. Give them security, trust, and love so that they will give the same to those around them. Be their hero. You don't need money in order to give them everything they need.
Good luck and God Bless. Tom
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