Bullying

Bullying is a subject that always seems to find its way into the news at regular intervals.  Schools are certainly trying to do what they can to control the issue, but they can't be everywhere all the time.  The solution starts at the home, and other entities have to do their parts as well.

I remember a few instances where Tyler was bullied.  Thankfully his environment was always very tightly controlled, but even with that, it could still happen.  One such issue was described to us as a typical boy holding onto the bill of Tyler's cap and refusing to let it go.  Tyler became angry and frustrated at the feeling, which caused him to become extremely aggressive until he calmed down.  Another such instance was in a restaurant with a caregiver, where a boy began mocking the sounds that Tyler was making.  An adult male, who was sitting at the table (I assume his father) began laughing and playing along.  Fortunately, Tyler didn't understand what was happening, but his caregiver surely did.

These are 2 extremely minor incidents, yet they made us feel absolutely horrible for Tyler.  The incident with the hat was a little easier to dismiss as stupid playground behavior, but the restaurant incident sticks with me.  These were people that went out of their way to mock Tyler in a public setting.  Worse yet, the father laughed and played along.  Obviously the child learned that to mock and bully someone would gain him adult approval.  What an awful example to set.

Sadly, bullying occurs every day.  Sadder still, the problem is not just limited to the children.  Adults can be seen bullying other adults on television, in the workplace, and everywhere else.  But it is the special needs children that are especially susceptible to the problem.  Our kids are not physically, mentally, or emotionally able to handle the problem, and may not have the ability to properly relay the problem to authority figures.  It may truly lead to situations where they have no defense at all.

Melania Trump has a public platform against bullying called "be best".  This is meant to denounce bullying of any kind, including cyberbullying.  Its a noble cause, as we know that bullying has lead to suicides as early as the age of 10.  Cyberbullying is particularly destructive because it can be so easily spread and so difficult to control.  I really do commend her for her efforts.

Unfortunately, she has become the very symbol of why bullying is so dangerous.  She, with the national platform, has made it a matter of convenience.  With her husband beside her launching twitter rants, often containing unfounded accusations, name-calling, and veiled threats, she goes silent.  She literally became the enabler for the very cause she made as her national platform.  The message it sends is loud and clear...fight bullying unless it is happening too close to home.  Worse than all of that, is the meager attempt at defending his actions by saying that the people essentially "asked for it" by being in the public eye.  Its beyond my knowledge of words to describe how crushingly bad that is to the real fight against bullying.

If you think I am reserving this for Melania Trump only, I'm not.  One would only have to watch 2 minutes of any "news channel" to find people trying to scream over the opinions of other people.  You could also watch the debates going on in Congress to see all the name-calling and half-truthing that you could possible stand.  Its everywhere.

BUT....the solution has to start SOMEWHERE.  And that somewhere has to involve the people at the top being held accountable for their own bullying behavior.  They cannot get a free pass.  We can't say that bullying under any circumstances is wrong, and then turn around and accept it from the person that is supposed to be leader of the free world.  When you do that, you might as well shut down the "be best" campaign, and keep a box of sticks at the doorway of every school for the bullies to use.  

Melania chose to make anti-bullying her mission.  Awesome.  She has been given her test in a big and difficult way, and she fell spectacularly on her face.  Not so awesome.  By failing her own cause, it is not some cute thing that can be debated on the news programs, it is a failure that genuinely hurts every child and special needs person who could be bullied in the future.  She just said it was "ok".  And that my friends, is the saddest truth of all.

Be well and God bless.  Tom